First off I want to thank everyone for the kind thoughts and wishes and prayers sent my families way.
It's been hard.  My grandfather (grandpa which i pronounce more like gran-paw) was the glue in my very extended family.  I'm even named after him.
I will miss him a lot. I am very glad I was able to go visit last May even though I was a little adament about only spending 3 days (I didn't want to spend4).  The last time i talked to my grandpa was on my birthday.  He was apologizing for not getting a card out to me because he had been busy with church and drs and all the other things that life brings.  And I told him that it was ok that I knew he loved me. 
I would not know then it would have been the last time I heard his voice. 
I will miss the way he hummed.  He had this tremor bass sound that I have never heard out of any other.  It was a musical instrument all from inside. 
We had a couple little laughs with my grandmother (gran-maw).  She is such a trip.  Someone at the funeral asked what happened to my grandpa and she bluntly told them that "he died".  Not the cause just the facts ma'am. 
I'm not sure what is going to happen with my grandmother.  I think they are all playing by ear.  My grandpa actually built the house they lived in.  But there's talk about selling it within the year.  My aunts and uncles are all taking turns right now staying and helping her since she's also had a resperatory illness for several years (my grandpa took care of her before he got sick). 
My parents are still down and may not be back for a week or so.  I came back home with my brother right after the funeral.  It was a long day.  I was pretty sick yesturday too so I'm glad I have the few extra days to recover. 
My grandma wanted certain things taken pictures of so anytime she said she wanted something snapped I snapped.  It kept me alert and busy and not immersed in my own thoughts. 
I had never seen a picture of my grandpa without him being bald.  There were even some school pictures I saw of him (HE HAD HAIR!)
I'll eventually get to putting together the photos for my grandma within the next few days.
Last thing I'd like to say...
My grandpa a couple hours before he died had a dream.  My aunt that died last year came to him and told him he would be going home soon with her. Of corse he had to tell all his children when he woke up.  To let them know he was fixing to be reunited with her and his savior.  He fell asleep a couple hours later and passed away silently during the day.  I am so glad he was at home where he loved and was at peace with his passing and is now and for always with his God. 

Leaving tomorrow for the arrangements. I hate this long drive. I was glad to find out that my work has bereavement pay and it includes 3 days and pay. It does help to have a company working for you. And some understanding coworkers.

Moms been gone a week now taking care of grandma while grandpa was moved to a nursing home. Grandpas a bad patient but the place he's at isn't patient attentive either. Already he's had a few close calls since moving there. Hell only be there 3 weeks then will have to find other arrangements bc of the insurance company.
That's the back story...
I've been at home with daddy. I hate it. No mom buffer. The week has sucked. He's bored so the minute I get home it's bug the hell out of me time. I tried to be nice and ignore my feelings. But it hasn't worked well. Especially at dinner time. I'm not a cook. I'm not a magician. I also hate making THE decision on where to go.
We just had an argument over grilled cheese sandwhich.
I'm glad he's having to leave to help tomorrow. Hell be gone at least 3 days. I won't have to worry about food for 3 days! I can eat whatever or nothing if I feel like it when I feel like it.
I really should live alone. I'm a horrible person. You just have no idea.

So we were having this big meeting and I got to go for once. Except everyone was dressed in wedding dresses and I was working on reboxing and putting together mp3 batteries and headphones. And was then handed a note about how I needed to put a feature together with a cheap computer and some flip flops.
I was the only one without a wedding dress even in my dreams I'm still left out of the social game!
Just means I've been watching too much say yes to the dress!

SUCKED
I had a horrid day at work. They usually aren't fun but just tolerable.
I Started off by working morning freight. About an entire cart load of stuff.
Then a cart load of secure items.
Then 1/2 the movies which amounted to a full cart (I also sorted them for ship out to claims)
After lunch I started working bins and freight from the back. About 7 bins total.
Them in the middle of that a manager asked a fellow associate what would be a good fathers day gift to make a feature. That associate asked me and I came up with something then had to make the feature wrap it and flag it. Then go back to the freight.
All the while 3 other associates did shit.
They walked around and talked.
It must be nice to be able to socialize and get paid for it
Here I am worried about job security making sure I stay busy and out of trouble and these other people "the good old boys club"
Men can get away with a lot at my job. Women would get fired for doing the same things. Sometimes I wish I was a man.

People on fb get on my nerves. Everyone has their opinion what fb is for. Some people thinks its for games. Other people to keep up with family. Some think it's their diary. You can use it for anything and I'm tired of seeing statuses about what fb is NOT for bc other people are too pig headed.
That's why I love xanga. It's for everyone and no one complains about how you use it. They just don't read or comment when it's not their thing. Yes sometimes there's arguments but it's not a big deal.
Grandpas diagnosed with ARDS whatever that is. Has to stay in the hospital still.

So this week my Grandpa was rushed to the Emergency Room. The doctors were not knowing what was going on last week but this week he's staying in the hospitol. They have figured out he has Pulmonary Fibrosis and Pnumonia. My grandmother also has this Pulmonary Fibrosis and so does my friends mom who is also in the hospitol right now. It's been I'd say about a month she's been in. Hopefully she'll be getting into a regular room soon and out of ICU.
So many people I love going threw the same disease that doctors really don't know the cause of. Mainly because it can be because of so many different things. It's particles getting into the lungs and goofing them up. ETC that's the short version.
I'm just taking my life day by day. Trying not to worry about too much and trying to be there when people need my support. This is not a good feature of me. I'm not very strong and supporting person. I'm usually the fun one or at least I try to be. I'm not good with serious issues. I try to dismiss them and just get over it. Everyone has their things right?

My bathroom's been leaking since last October. No one beleived me until this week. My brother's bathroom which is right underneath had water flowing down into it. So NOW everyone beleives there's an issue. So the plumber came yesturday and torn my toilet out and the floor boards. It's been only one day and I'm ready to move out and into a hotel. I hate using my parents bathroom. I'm already stressed beyond beleif and now I have to share a bathroom. This is not good territory. I'll probably spontaneously combust soon.

I'm not doing well on the diet. I've fudged all week. Grandpas sick. My friends moms still in the hospital. Just s rough week.

I didn't like the earthquake even if in a dream. Dizzy disoriented and not really knowing what was going on. Thankfully no damage done.

Feeling a bit better today. 
Finished reading The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory.  I did not like it as much as The White Queen.  Maybe it was just the character I didn't like but the Queen in this latest book made me very angry.  She thought her will was God's will and if she wasn't given everything she wanted then she just didn't understand. 
Being on her knees praying into all hours of the day and night for "saints knees" made her proud.  ETC. 
It was loosely based on some history somewhere but not nearly as captivating as the first book as I said. 
It left me wanting to read something fluffy and rediculous now instead of something so stuffy. 

It's the end of my library books for this time so I'll have to read something I've bought that I left on the floor (about 15 things just waiting for me to get a break from the library).  I do have some holds from the library that I want but they haven't called me yet so I have a little time before I'll go back.