If I was talking to my friend I would say I'm proud you got out any means necessary. A friend, family, a stranger or shelter is better for you than him.
Don't get confused between a argument and abuse. Abuse is hate an argument is debate.
And keep telling yourself you're worth the good things God has planned for you. There's still a path to walk. Don't think of being lonely or giving him excuses. There is no excuse worthy enough and above all else
You are worthy of real love. <3

Our guests arrived today. Everything was going good until my dad had a choking spell. Worried this was a bad one. It's like something's stuck in his throat but nothing is. He leans over the sink with vomit bile spit coming out.
Told him he should tell his dr about it next time he goes but he seems to think if he doesn't go tonight then it isn't a big deal.
Breathing is a big deal.
I'm in a bad mood now. he doesn't listen. What if it's a growth inside and they can just snip it and he be fine or it something bad and they can stop it and fix it before something gets out of control.
He doesn't listen. And I worry.

Today my house hold decided to clean in anticipation of guests coming to visit. What fun today has been (sarcasm)...
Yesturday was vacuuming and washing the carpets. Today was painting and moving shit around that's been sitting for nearly 10 years bc God forbid anyone go in the basement (why would they do that)?
I have fallen off the diet.
Yesturday in an attempt to avoid the housework frenzy I went to the library.
Last week I made the decision to start investing in something other than my 401 and my savings account. (long term)
I have to figure out what now.
Been watching Jericho. Forgot how much I liked it. Conspiracy theories everywhere.
No preparations for hurricanes here. Cat 2 isn't much to worry about in the north of the land mass between new Orleans and mobile evidentally Alabama and Louisiana share a border. Guess I live in never land now always thought that anyway

I so love wearing my deodorant but I have to say goodbye for a while. I'm having a little issue with my underarms so I thought I would share with you all!
I think I've blocked up some of my perspetory thingies and will be doing without until I am positive it's gone or figure out its something else's lol

This years medical issues top the cake.
Same arm had the spider bite but this has been months now. If its not the deodorant it's lymph nodes or cancer or some autoimmune disease. I think I'd pick the deodorant as the safest bet then work my way to lymph nodes and then the other two. Hopefully the stuff will turn back normal with hot compresses and no antiperspirant.
Unfortunately I'll be stinking till who knows when.

I was at work. A lady let me borrow her weave because my hair was thinning and falling out
I spent a good bit of time trying to fix my dark hair in the mirror.
My scalp was scarred and bloody but these worms that were on my head were going in and out of my skin. It seemed to be very gross but also seemed to be repairing it somehow.
I then had no hair but also didn't have any blood on me.
My family wanted to go on vacation again. We somehow became separated and on 3 different boats. I saw my dad ended up on a boat that took him to the wrong place (I told someone he fell off the boat). The ticket man had to take a break before he could complete my transaction. Then my mom appeared.

I didn't like the bloody scalp I had. And the worms made me think I was going to loose my mind.

I don't understand people in my area. Seems no one wants to work. They are rude to customers.
Everyday it gets worse. I feel so disillusioned when it comes to my working life. I work hard try to get everything done but I am not a miracle worker.
One of the other associates got upset with me because I mentioned to someone that they hide in the back from customers and they're work.
All I see are problems. My life feels like a big problem.
I have no idea what I'd do if I didn't work here. it scares me to think if I had enough and quit what I would do.

The daily food fight at my house... Everyday someone (my dad) has to start an argument about food.
I'm sick of it.
I have the recipe. I have the skills. I don't need him telling me I'm doing it wrong.
If its not the how tos it's the what's.
Sunday I came home (our fend for yourself night) and told him I was going to cook myself a taco salad. It was 3pm when I told him. At 4:45 he is starved and aren't I going to cook dinner soon? Why can't we have taco salads from the Mexican restraunt?
I told him I would start cooking at 5 and if he didn't want to wait he could order himself whatever he wanted.
So he orders a taco salad from the Mexican restraunt and leaves to get it.
I start cooking and have eaten mine by the time he gets back home with his.
He has to be involved in everything now. Has the garbage been taken out? The kitty litter too? Where are you going? Did you talk to your mother today? Who's that on the phone? How much are you taking out for 401k? What about stock? Etc etc etc.
Love my dad but he's certainly getting on my nerves.

Today I google. Black cloud out of the corner of your eye.
Google can inform you of anything.
Everything was paranormal in nature. Nothing seemed like what I experienced though.
Watching tv on my side I moved a little and saw this gobbly gook black form out of the corner of my eye it disappeared slowly.
Yes I'm tired could have been sleep deprivation had I not slept all night plus had a nap earlier in the day.
Maybe medications? I take Claritin daily. Vicks for my dry nose. Sometimes Flonase but I'm out now. So no unusual psychiatric drugs either.
Maybe it's lack of fat in my diet? You can have drunk symptoms if you go too long. :-/
Maybe it's spirit. Maybe it's something with my brain. But it's weird and it's what's going on today.

I spent the majority of the day feeling icky.  I slept late and stayed in bed most of the day.  I played on the internet the other half.  My new favorite thing is pinning on pinterest    http://pinterest.com/dreams12345/  That's me if you want...

It seems it's been forever since I've really participated in xanga. Sure I occasionally post and comment, but I really don't get out and participate like I use to.
It's several reasons
1 blogging on the phone which is my main way now just isn't as fun
2 seems like when you do reach out people seem antagonistic wanting to know where you found them why you're here etc
3 or you get drawn into a discussion and it's create chaos in your world till your forgotten

Maybe it's best I blog so little now. I hate that kind of drama. I get enough in real life anyway.

So yesturday after clocking out at work I grabbed a few things to cook today. Decided I'd cook the family dinner. I do this rarely...
I got home with my ingredients and let momma know I'd be using her crock pot all day and cook her dinner. I didn't tell her what I'd be cooking just that everything tastes good after cooking for 5 hrs. Etc.
Later that night I overheard her tell daddy I'd be cooking and since I was reading I over heard the conversation. Made me not want to cook for them. Evidentally I must be the worst cook ever. Funny how I always like my cooking but they never do.
So what horrible dish am I cooking? Pulled BBQ pork. Your suppose to put you boneless pork chops in the crock pot for 7 hours on medium with half a bottle of BBQ and onions and spices and water after its cooked for five you shred it and cook the last two hrs.
I'm also cooking some squash for a side and some crescent rolls. I haven't figured out the other veggie but I hope it's the best darn BBQ they've ever had in their entire life. And bless their little souls...